For My Nina...

My dear Nina,

Today is your 4th birthday and it's hard for me to believe it.  We started the day opening presents and eating your dad's delicious pancakes.  I am glad it is a school holiday, so you and daddy could be home to celebrate this special day.

Right after breakfast, we rushed to the doctor for your 4-year well child visit.  Last year, you were fortunate to not have to get any vaccines, but this year, you had to get 4.  It was such a horrible experience.  Daddy went in with you and held you down while the nurse gave you the shots.  He said that he started crying because he felt terrible. 

We came home and you got to play computer games.  Lately, this is something that you love to do.  I ran and got you some Chick-Fil-A for lunch.  Yummy.  Then, I popped some popcorn and we got our stuff together and headed to the movie to watch "The Princess and the Frog."  It was just so lovely!  You sat on my lap for the second half of the movie.  I loved it.

We came home, ate dinner, and then, it was time to go to bed. 

Tonight, you kissed your binky goodbye, put it in a box, and Mommy promised to give it to a baby that needed it.  Gosh, this was hard for you.  Throughout the day, you kept reminding us that we needed to do this, but it was so hard for you to follow through with it when the time came.  We let you cry for a while, but it got to me and I ran and rocked you in our rocking chair for a good while.  I sang to you in Portuguese and quickly calmed you down.  When I put you back to bed, you cried again and but, you were so tired that you quickly fell asleep.

Nina, I have experienced so many emotions today.  You are growing up and I am realizing that I can't always make things go away or make them better.  All I can do is be there by you while you go through hard experiences.  Today, I found myself holding back my tears in so many moments.  I love you more than the words can describe.  I am far from being a fantastic mom, but I am crazy about you. 

I hope you grow up knowing how unshakable my love is for you.  I hope you grow up to be a great woman.  When you were inside of me, my number one wish is that you'd be a gift to the world.  I wanted you to be someone that everyone wanted to have as a friend.  I think you are that person.  I hope you continue to be that person. 

Thank you for being my gift. 

Mommy